Hell Day has been MOVED

Yay! Spread the good news!



























What difference does it make anyways? Heh.

I'm Not Okay (I Promise)

Can pressure make someone go insane? If yes, then I would certainly end in that situation. It’s been REALLY busy in school and I can just feel the pressure rising every minute. It’s not only the academic workload that’s causing this but also the pressure of keeping up with my mates. I can’t find myself to focus and when they seem to have turned the right way, I choose to go left. I feel insecure, mediocre even. I'm struggling to get my acts together. And it’s even harder to concentrate when you know you might not have the chance anyways. Am I making sense? Haha. I think not.

But I see you’re still reading through the post so I might as well continue… *wink* Lol.

Maybe I’m just not used to having so many things to do and worry about all at the same time. projects here, presentation there (yeah we’re already finished, thank God), and everything’s sure to give you a splitting headache and lesser hours for sleep. I can’t even sleep right away because even when you’re already lying in bed there’d still be hanging thoughts floating in your head. You’d even be lucky if you don’t dream of something school related. Hahaha. Maybe it’s just a matter of time management (which I’m really poor at), but then you just can’t help but wish that you’d be able to stretch a 24-hour day to a 30-hour one just to accommodate everything.

Hmm…I seemed to have gone off-topic. Typical me. Lolz. Anyways, I think I’ve made my point on the first part.

Stranded

You know, I really like the rain. I cannot explain why, I just feel an unexplainable kind of comfort when it rains. Weird isn’t it? I like it when it would rain for the whole day so it’d be much cooler in the evening then I’d leave my windows ajar and let the cool air go through my room and I’d lay curled up in bed and go to sleep. It’s been raining for days now and how I wish I could do the same thing. I wish I’d stay in bed, have a good night’s sleep and wake up at any time that I want. But no, that is not what is happening to me. Instead, I would stay extra late reading stuff, get only a few hours of sleep before I wake up (early) to prepare and go to school. I feel too stressed to enjoy the rainy day.

But this is only the beginning of the rainy season anyways, I’d still have a lot of days to take a moment and enjoy the rain. Hopefully it would be a rainy term break. Hahaha.

*Tick tock: I carry an umbrella with me most of the time but I don’t use it when it’s raining because it’s just so pesky when it gets wet. Lol

Murder on the Dancefloor II

Next was the blood test, they'd check for the hemoglobin count. I didn't even look at my finger when they pricked it. Lol. I told them of my situation and asked them if I could donate, they told me I could. Thank goodness. They told me to go to one of the beds and there will be someone who will assist me. It was scary. And I feel so cold because of the rain. Then the medical person came and told me to lie in the bed. I did so and I was so squeamish. :)) She got hold of my hand, sanitized the part where the needle would be inserted and did the thing to look for a blood vein. Gawd, my hand is getting cold again while typing this. Then she positioned the needle and started to insert it. Eeek. I wasn't looking while she is doing that the whole time. When she finished, she gave me a squeeze ball so process would be faster. I can't squeeze hard enough by then. Hehehe. Then she left to attend another donor. I savored the feeling of the needle in my arm at that time. It was not comfortable, I feel the needle in and I have no idea how long it is.

So, whatever happened to my comrades? Well, the one nearest me was doing okay. She was the one to finish last. The other one, I don’t know if she could be called lucky or not but she wasn’t able to donate. That’s why I was curious of how come she’s already sitting on the bed even though she was the first in line of us three. I finished second ((and filled in a lesser amount of blood, 350cc)) and was able to ask her. Apparently they weren’t able to find a vein in her. Worse they even looked for one ((with the needle) several times inside her arm. OUCH! That was major ouch. I would’ve fainted if that was done to me. ~_~ After several minutes, the med assistant returned and removed the bag. I was shocked to see the needle. It was long. 0_0 She told me to lie still for a few and keep my arms stretched while holding the part where the needle was inserted.

After some time I’ve decided to sit up ((my other friend is still not finished by then)) and I was able to chat with the other one who was already walking around by that time. Haha. They gave me food and drinks but I didn’t eat it, I just drank the juice. While waiting for my other friend to finish, by this time I was already standing and prepared my things only to find out that my right hand seem to be frozen ((and weak)) so I asked my friend to give it to me. I didn’t feel dizzy after that, thank god. So after my friend was finished we decided to go home. We all came out of that booth feeling a bit sluggish but happy we were able to do it. The doctor ((who checked my BP)) also told me that I mustn’t tire myself ((do tiring things)) so I’ve decided to walk home ((it’d be more bumpier if I’d ride the trike)). When I came home my mom asked me why I looked like I’ve lost a million bucks, I told her the reason and asked my dad to buy balut for me to eat. Ack. But I still ate it anyways, only the yolk though, that’s the only thing I eat when I eat that.

Oh and I remember there was a side story in that blood donation thingy. Earlier that day there was a guy who fainted. The catch? He’s not even a donor. He was only accompanying his friend who’s donating blood and maybe he’s also scared of blood that he fainted. Lol. Good thing I didn’t faint.

So I guess that’s the entire story. It was a long, but good day. I can’t really say at this point that my fear of syringes has vanished, but I can say that this will not be the last time I will do it. And hopefully I have enough time to gather my guts and do it another time. Hehehe. I hope you enjoyed reading even though it’s quite lengthy. I don’t know if you ever get anything from this one but I seriously hope it didn’t scare you to donate blood. DON’T be. Who knows, your blood could be used to save the life of another person. :)

I guess that’s all. Til my next post.

*Tick tock: Both my mom and dad have the same blood type B. My blood type is O. Lol

Murder on the Dancefloor I

I just lost some blood today. o_o

There is a three-day blood donation in our school. So after our last class, me and two of my friends went there to donate. Actually my other friends wanted to donate too, but some of them still have classes and the others already went home for they have an exam tomorrow.

The booth was situated at the Yuchengco lobby. There were more or less 10 beds there. ((It's voluntary so not all students are donating.)) It was raining so the weather is really cold. We didn't exactly went straight there and told them we wanted to donate our blood. Actually we've been standing for quite some time ((more like 15 minutes I think)) near the SPS building, about 3 meters away from the table of the booth ((where you need to get questionnaires first)), talking to each other if we are gonna go for it or not. The thing is, all of us were afraid of blood. And at that time we were sort of looking for someone who could cheer us on and tell us we could do it.

Not only that I'm afraid of blood, I'm afraid of syringes too. I cringe at the mere thought of it. This is my first time to donate blood so I have no idea of what I'm getting into. I haven't even tried getting a dextrose up my arm. ~_~ Add the fact that it's my third day of having my period so I'm not sure if they'd allow me or not to donate. That's the reason why I'm thinking twice about it. I've been thinking of donating blood for quite some time and at that time, I don't really care about those things. If they'd allow me, why not, I'd gladly volunteer to donate. I even tell my two companions that we could do it. Maybe I'm just not convincing enough. Hahaha. Though at that time, my hands were ice cold - not only because of the weather, but maybe deep inside, even though I said I don't really care, I am still afraid.

Finally after gathering our guts we've decided to do it. We went to the table and they gave us those lengthy questionnaires. There must've been at least 30 questions on it, questions like if you've been pregnant before, are you taking any medications lately, had a operation, etc. Even if you've taken illegal drugs and if you have been imprisoned. At least it has drived my mind away from what I'm going to do any moment. There is a check up first before you can be allowed to donate blood. As we were waiting in line for our turn to have the check up I remember one girl saying that she thinks she's going to die. Lolz. The first was a blood pressure check, I was really nervous I keep asking the doctor questions while he was taking my BP. I asked him why they need to know the blood pressure, why you need to be at least 100lbs to donate, approximately how many is 450cc of blood ((he gestured on the small mineral water sitting on the table o_o)), how long will it take to fill the blood bag, will I be able to go home after donating blood, etc. I guess you're already laughing right now after reading that line. Well, I do get giddy when I'm nervous so...Lol. My BP was checked twice, he checked my right hand first then my left. He told me I have greater pressure in my left hand. Next was the weighing scale. I almost got deferred because of my weight! Grr! You needed to weigh at least 100lbs to be able to donateI thought I'd be throwing the weighing scale. I seriously thought I was a 105, but it only showed 100 on the scale. >_< to be continued...

Going Under

EDIT: The original post was too gloomy for my taste, I don't want to scare you off so I moved it to a better place. Lol
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Can the word dead pass as an adjective? Coz I certainly feel that way at the moment. I can't remember how long I have been like this, but I think this time has been the worst (or else I won't be writing about this now right?). I can even pass for a zombie, a lifeless creature walking amongst the living, the only difference is that I'm still breathing and I still have a pulse rate. The world to me looks like black and white. I even feel like I'm falling into a limbo. I seem to have lost appetite on things, I don't even have that much drive as I used to. Maybe it's because of the stress, pressure, frustrations, etc. Maybe it's life in general. Or even me. Or maybe I'm just plainly tired. I don't know. I just hope that whatever this is that has gotten into me would wear off soon. I wish I'd be a more happier me.

Well, I think I gotta go get some rest.

Wake me up inside
call my name and
save me from the dark

*Bring me to Life~Evancescence

Days Go By

I've been ranting about this for about forever, but we have to present our term project in OPERES in a skirt. *faints* Our professor told us this a few days ago. Dang. I know his intentions are good, we'd also get to defend our thesis eventually in this kind of outfit but still...heh. I rarely wear a skirt, except on (very, very) few circumstances. (I'd prefer slacks if you ask me)

Why don't I like wearing a skirt? Coz I'm not a skirt person! Simple as that! Lol. But seriously, I have never been comfortable wearing a skirt, especially if they would be higher up my legs or anything close to that. Waaaah! Plus, I don't really look human when wearing a skirt. Hahaha. It's times like this that I wish I was a guy instead. It's easy to find what to wear, and they can just put on a nice polo and they're good to go. Whereas if you're a girl, you still have to find which one suits you best. Sigh. Not fair isn't it?


I guess I can't do anything on this matter. So right now, I need to buy a decent skirt for that presentation (which is like...in two weeks?). Wish me luck.