Just My Imagination

Each day through my window
I watch him as he passes by
I say to myself
I'm so lucky he's so fly
To have a boy like him
Is truly a dream come true
Out of all the girlies in the world
He belongs to you

But it was just my imagination
Runnin' away with me
Tell you it was just my imagination
Runnin' away with me

Everynight on my knees I pray
Dear Lord hear my plea yeah
Don't ever let another
Take his love from me
Or I will surely die
Her love is heavenly (heavenly) when your arms enfold me
I hear her tender rhapsody
But in reality
He doesn't even know me

I heard this song playing on the radio last night when I was going to sleep. And it dawned me, after what...days of denial I figured I couldn't take back what-has-been-said-that-which-i-don't-want-to-know. Lol. I just made a ghost for myself when there wouldn't have been one in the first place. It would've been easier for me then. -_-; It's been weird afterwards, yes, but my repulsive attitude towards his name has been weird for me too (tho i think i have a history of having a sort-of repulsive reaction with persons that i like). But you know, when I've accepted that I already know that, it's easier to leave it at the back of my head(unlike before where it seems to always creep in the background)... it's less...haunting. Haha. This is silly. Wasting time blabbering all these nonsense, making such a fuss out of nothing. XD Oh well, another trash post... what to do? Lolz.

EDIT: I noticed this is my last post for the month, what a way to end it. Dare I say... redeeming? after all the insane things I've been through the last few days XD

Til I Hear It From You

Just a few thoughts I've been having the past week:

I will think before I speak.
Whenever I see a chance, I will not think twice and grab the opportunity set before me.
I will not ask a question when I don't have answers to the question myself.

Sigh.

No Way to Say

What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet.
-W. Shakespeare

Say, how do you forget the name of someone whose name you didn't want to know in the first place? Suggestions (and comments, even violent reactions lol) are very much welcome. :))

Here We Go

My friends and I have signed up (again) for the two-day blood donation drive to be held on Monday and Tuesday. Now I'm scared all over again. I already feel the tingling sensation in my hands and just the thought of the needle makes them sweaty. Haha. I still have 5 days tho to psyche myself up for the 'big day' on Tuesday. Oh and I also hope that by cough will be gone by the 14th so I will be able to donate.

Whatta bloody Valentine. :))


Omg, I just remembered that I have an exam the next day. Woohoo gotta start reviewing by the weekend or my exam will be a disaster. Lolz.

Did You Ever Fail Lord?

[Intro]
David was a clumsy kid
with a humpy sort of face
that always looked dirty.
David always seemed to be falling down
or tripping over someone
or getting in the way
or bothering other people.

The teacher was always yelling at him
for something.
His parents yelled at him,
his friends yelled at him.
In fact, everybody seemed to yell at him,
but no one ever listened to him.
He was just David,
bothersome David.

But David wasn't a fool.
He knew how the others treated him,
and it was hard to take,
very hard.

These are David's thoughts about himself
as a failure:

---

No one pays any attention to me
or what I say, Lord.
I'm nobody, I guess.
I haven't done anything important
or made anything
or won anything.
No one listened when I talk,
no one asks my opinion.
I'm just there
like a window
or a chair.

I tried to build a boat once,
but it fell apart.
I tried to make the baseball team,
but I always threw past third base.
I wrote some articles
for our school paper,
but they didn't want them.
I even tried out for the school play,
but the other kids laughed
when I read my lines.
I seem to fail
at everything.

I don't try anymore
because I'm afraid to fail.
And no one likes to fail
all the time.

If only there was something I could do,
something I could shout about,
something I could make
that was my work,
only mine.
And people would say,
"David did that!"
And my parents would say,
"We are proud of you, son!"

But I can't do anything.
Everyone else is so much better
at everything
than I am.
The more I fail
the more it eats away at me
until I feel weak inside.
I feel like I'm nothing.

Lord,
the world seems full of heroes
and idols and important people.

Where are all the failures?
Where are they hiding?
Where are people like me?
Did you ever fail, Lord?
Did you?
Do you know how I feel?
Do you know what its like
when everyone looks up to you and says:
"He's a failure."

[The poem came from a book with the title 'For Mature Adults Only'. I stumbled upon the book when I was looking for the references for the related lit for my critique. The book is a collection of teenage poems, their cries and prayer, and this was one entry that struck me the most. Those were very strong words in my opinion. I could relate to the poem in a way that there are times that I feel like I'm a failure, in several ways. I guess David has just expressed those feelings that I can't put into words. Isn't it harder feeling like a failure than committing a mistake? You could make a rebound from making a mistake but it's not that easy when you failed someone... Or is it just the same? I know it might not yet be too late to redeem myself but... will I still have the courage to do so?