On the Playlist: Just Feel Better

She said I need you to hold me
I'm a little far from the shore
And I'm afraid of sinking
You're the only one who knows me
And who doesn't ignore
That my soul is weeping

And I know, I know, I know
Part of me says let it go
That life happens for a reason
I don't, I don't, I don't
It goes I never went before
But this time, this time

I'm gonna try anything to just feel better
Tell me what to do
You know I can't see through the haze around me
And I do anything to just feel better

And I can't find my way
God I need a change
And I do anything to just feel better
Any little thing to just feel better

Yeah, as if the weekend wasn't enough. And then this... I feel scared, I don't know what to do. It's okay if my life would get more miserable, I just don't want my parents to get involved.

I'm lucky enough to see my friend online today. At least I felt a little better with what she said. Thanks a lot!

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*Just Feel Better~Santana feat Steve Tyler

Barenaked

I just cried myself to sleep last night.

I didn't know what happened, maybe it's the music I'm listening too or even too much sleep, I just found myself crying. I guess I was thinking too much before I went to bed and that included my life in general, mostly the bad side. And I saw nothing good with it. Sometimes (or maybe even more often than not) it's painful facing the truth. But I'm no saint and nobody's perfect so I guess it's just okay. Then I ended up realizing that I was crying because I feel luckyl for all those great people around me, even though they don't deserve having someone like me. (Thank you thank you guys). Afterwards, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep (thank god because I can't get myself to sleep last night).

And you know what? It felt good afterwards. Like I've unloaded a heavy object. I don't like crying, but I realized that it's not so bad doing so once in a while.

Call me weird but I've been wanting this one thing to happen for quite some time already: to see my crush walking down the stairs. Hehe. :P And what's frustrating is whenever I look for that person I end up seeing my friend's crush instead. Not fair. Hmph.

Over The Water

I should've known that I wasn't yet ready for philosophy. We've just had our second meeting on the subject and it was... boring. I dunno. The professor kept on repeating the same thing for about 20 minutes and I don't get anything from what he is saying. It was a struggle to prevent myself from dozing off so I ended up taking down notes from whatever he is saying. Not to mention, he's also kinda weird because he doesn't make eye contact on the students while doing the lecture. He just stares randomly on one part of the room as if he was talking to someone there. But don't get me wrong, I've read the course syllabus and there are some topics that I am kinda looking forward to.

Oh my, what have I gotten myself into this time. >_<